


Apogee

by roxyeisen



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 08:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13900392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roxyeisen/pseuds/roxyeisen
Summary: What would it be like if Mulder had to say goodbye to Scully forever?*I wrote this after Plus One when I was sure Chris Carter was hinting that he was going to kill off Scully. It was my way of preparing for it should it happen.*





	Apogee

“I don’t know where I go from here,” William sighed and folded his hands over his knees. We sat in silence for a long moment. The quiet of the rural countryside contrasted the familiar turmoil. Was it an indicator of times to come? Could three born for such trouble presume to share peace?

“Maybe I should finish high school before I make any big decisions.” William smirked at us.

“I think that’s an excellent idea,” I nodded, and we all chuckled. I reached a hand to the side of his face without realizing I was doing it. My fingers smoothed back the long brown locks that hugged his face. “You’ll live here with us, won’t you?”

“Where else would I go?” He gave us a half-smile as he shrugged. “I figure living with my parents is the best option. At least for another year or two.”

“I got to spend the first year of your childhood with you and now the last. More than I ever expected.” My hand dropped to squeeze his.

My son nodded at me, and his lopsided smile made me feel breathless with emotion. I stifled it, unsure of how it would make my seventeen-year-old feel if I were to get weepy. Maybe his adoptive mother hadn’t been emotional. Or maybe he was like his dad and would get squirmy if things got too sentimental.

William cleared his throat and looked at Mulder. “I don’t know how you’d feel about this, but I’d like to change my name. Legally. I started out William Mulder, and I had a good run as Jackson Van de Kamp, but I want to be a Mulder now.”

Mulder nodded, a small smile pulling at his mouth. “I’d be happy to help you do that, son.”

I didn’t miss the emotion that quieted Mulder’s voice. My eyes met his. We shared an expression, the kind we’ve always jointly experienced. The kind where we can almost read each other’s thoughts. 

_I never expected to be a father, _I read in his eyes.__

_You’ll be a good one._ I reached for his knee and squeezed. 

____“Who knows, maybe we’ll all be Mulders soon.” Mulder surprised me with his words as he watched me._ _ _ _

____I smiled, curious. “Maybe we will.”_ _ _ _

____William and Mulder began a more benign discussion about baseball. I smiled to myself as I excused myself and walked up the stairs to the bathroom. Mulder had never been one to enjoy dwelling in personal conversation. Like father, like son, it seemed._ _ _ _

____Almost as if something had led me to find it, my eyes were drawn to the wastebasket. I reached inside, pulling out the pregnancy test I’d discarded the day before._ _ _ _

____It had been silly to take it. I chided myself for it at the time. But I’d been feeling sick and tired, and I didn’t want to admit it was just old age. The pregnancy test had been a million years old. I didn’t know when I would have bought it, considering there would never have been an occasion for me to use it. But it had caught my eyes in the back of the medicine cabinet of the bathroom Mulder and I had shared for a decade. I hadn’t had periods since I’d been taken and experimented on 23 years ago. I had just turned 54. It was doubly impossible to be pregnant now. Even if I had any ova, they would be old and useless._ _ _ _

____The test had shown a negative just as I’d expected. I’d sighed, tossed it, and made a mental note to make a doctor’s appointment to address the fatigue and queasiness.____

 _ _ _But now, as I lifted the little plastic stick from the trash, my heart skipped a beat. The rational side of me told me it was just a false positive – you couldn’t trust the answer after a minute or two, and it had been hours. But there was a faint plus sign in the results window._ _ _

____I fumbled with the box containing the extra test I’d shoved back in the cabinet. I followed the instructions with trembling fingers and left it laying on the counter._ _ _ _

____I went back down the stairs, but I had to sit on the bottom step because my legs were shaking so much._ _ _ _

____“Scully?” Mulder came to me quickly and kneeled beside me. “Are you sick?”_ _ _ _

____“I don’t know,” I said, meeting his gaze. “I need you to check it.”_ _ _ _

____He shook his head, not understanding._ _ _ _

____I gestured up the stairs. “In the bathroom.”_ _ _ _

____Mulder nodded and glanced at William. “Stay with your mom.”_ _ _ _

____Mulder took the steps two at a time. I thought I heard him pause before he opened the door to what had been our bedroom for years. I’d noticed in recent months it seemed like he’d taken to sleeping on the couch again. Maybe it had been too hard for him to sleep in our bed without me. I felt a wave of shame for not having the courage to see him through the worst of his bad time. I promised myself I would never leave again. Ever._ _ _ _

____It felt like years before he came back, but under a minute later he reappeared at the top of the stairwell, holding the stick._ _ _ _

____He spoke in awe. “You’re pregnant.”_ _ _ _

____My vision blurred and a roaring noise filled my ears as he spoke. William laughed with surprise next to me, but he sounded like he was underwater. Mulder came down the stairs and pulled me up and into his arms, hugging me,_ _ _ _

____I still couldn’t accept it. “How can this be? I never would have expected one miracle, but now two?”_ _ _ _

____Mulder chuckled and took my face between his hands, kissing me. “It doesn’t surprise me at all, Scully. Not one bit. Never give up on a miracle.”_ _ _ _

_Seven months later_

I opened my eyes, expecting to be in bed next to my husband, but I was on the couch instead. I sat up, groaning as I moved aching muscles. 

______“Couldn’t sleep?” William was in the kitchen, making a lunch for school._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m sorry, William. I should have done that for you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“No you shouldn’t have. Mom, I can see what a hard time you’re having. I don’t want you waiting on me. I want you to rest. What would we do if something happened to you?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______I waved off his concern. “I’m fine. Just old.” I went to him and kissed his cheek. “Have a good day. Are you ready for your physics test?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He shrugged. “I guess we’ll find out.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______I smiled. Of course he was ready. The boy scored straight A’s with hardly any effort. I tried not to let my chest swell with pride. If he was anything like his father, and all three of us had come to understand just how much he was like his father, he needed humility more than he needed reminders of his genius._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Is your dad up?” I tried to stretch my back muscles, but the pain that had been growing since I stood up only intensified._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I think I saw him leave with his earbuds. He must be taking a walk.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______I nodded. William said goodbye and headed toward the door to grab his backpack. Suddenly, my abdomen tightened, and the pain knocked the breath out of me. I gasped and went down on the floor. William ran back._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What’s wrong? Should I call 911?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______I shook my head, but I couldn’t speak during the contraction. It possessed me. William grabbed his phone from his pocket and dialed 911 as he went to the back door and yelled for Mulder._ _ _ _ _ _

______I wasn’t aware of much besides the intense working of my body in the next few minutes. Mulder came and helped me lean against the wall, putting pillows behind my back and covering me with the throw blanket from the couch. William stayed back, but he didn’t leave._ _ _ _ _ _

______“They should be here soon,” Mulder said, his hands on my shoulders. I shook my head. We were too far out. It would take them forever to get here._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re going to have deliver,” I gasped around the contractions. He had a moment where I knew he was about to panic, but our eyes met, and just like that, he accepted it. He nodded and told William to gather clean towels and grab the first aid kit under the kitchen counter._ _ _ _ _ _

______As William ran into the other room, Mulder leaned close to my face. “You got this.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He kissed me quickly before he helped me get ready for the next round of contractions that might end with a baby’s entrance into the world. I felt another strong contraction take hold of me. I pushed and roared as I had only one other time in my life. A moment later I felt the release of birth and heard the gurgling cry of an infant._ _ _ _ _ _

______Mulder laughed with joy I’d never heard before in his voice, and I marveled at it. Reveled in it. He reached for a towel from William, who crouched beside us and smiled at me._ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s a girl, Mom! I have a sister!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______I cried out in relief and elation as Mulder wiped the tiny face and body until the little one began to pink up and make noise. He placed her on my chest and I looked my daughter in the face for the first time._ _ _ _ _ _

______Large dark eyes studied me with all the curiosity and wonder of her father’s eyes, almost as if she were memorizing my face. Her fist bumped against my chin, as if she were attempting to tell me something._ _ _ _ _ _

______That’s when I saw it. Crouched at the top of the stairs. The dark shadow. It wasn’t hiding. It wasn’t moving. It was waiting._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No . . .” I whimpered. I knew that form. I’d seen it one other time._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Mulder,” I reached for his hand and held it with all the strength I had left. “He’s here.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He followed my gaze up the stairs as worry contorted his happy features. “Who?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Dad, what’s wrong?” I heard William ask, and I tried to find my son’s hand to hold._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Scully, who is it?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Death.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______For some reason, I knew that Death had not necessarily come for me. I could sense he was staring straight at my baby. And my daughter looked up the stairs into the shadows._ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s Samantha.” Her name came from my tongue so easily it required no thought. “He came for her.”_ _ _ _ _ _

Terror filled my heart. Terror that made me mad. Made me want to get up and fight. Death would have my little girl in her first moments of breath _over my dead body._

______“Dad, is all this blood normal?” I heard William ask, and then I could smell it. The scent of death was in my nostrils. Choking me._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Take the baby, Will,” Mulder said as he desperately looked for something he might do. He seemed to realize it wouldn’t be anything medical, and his attention turned to me.______

 _ _ _“Ignore him, Scully. The medics are almost here. I hear the sirens.” Mulder took my face between his hands and tried to get me to look at him. But I couldn’t. I had to stare down that shadow creeping ever so closer._ _ _

______“William, is the baby looking at you?” I asked desperately._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah, mom,” William answered, and his voice was thick and desperate. “You’re going to be okay.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Don’t let her look away,” I pleaded. “Keep her attention.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Okay,” William’s voice sounded younger. Frightened. I wanted to comfort him, but I couldn’t. I had a staredown with Death to maintain._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Scully, don’t do this,” Mulder said, trying to get me to look at him. “Please don’t do this. I can’t live without you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______And then I knew I had to look away. Just for a moment. Just to say goodbye._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’ll be okay,” I reached for him. “You have to be. For our children’s sake.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“No, Scully,” he said, shaking his head. He swallowed hard and I saw his features contort. “Don’t leave me.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m not,” I said, trying to make him understand. “I’m not, not really. I’m in them. I’m leaving you them.” I gestured to the terrified teenage boy holding the fussing baby girl. “That’s why you have to go on. You can’t check out like you did before. Promise me.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He shook his head and a sob came from somewhere deep within him. Within this man I had loved for so long._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Promise me,” I said again, smoothing my palm against the stubble on his cheek. I felt urgency as the shadow came down another step. “Now, Mulder.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______I stared into his face one last time, and we shared our minds for a final moment. He gave a quick nod and sucked in air._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’ll always be with you.” I whispered._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I love you,” he said, as if he was afraid I’d leave before he got a chance to say it. “I should have done so many things differently –”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I love you, too.” I cut him off, and his lips found mine. “And I wouldn’t change a day.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______As he leaned against my face, I looked at my children one last time._ _ _ _ _ _

______And then I met death’s gaze. He beckoned to me, and I felt my spirit rise out of my bleeding body. It went limp. I heard Mulder’s sobs as if they were behind a wall, in a different place than me, even though I could still see them all huddled around my body at the bottom of the stairs. I leaned over my son and my daughter and kissed them before I took hold of the banister and followed the shadow to the place where I must go._ _____

_Goodbye, my family. Take care of one another._

____

And so ends our story. Their story will continue, but it will be a new story. Different chords will be played. New people will listen. The story that took hold of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully’s lives and joined them together so tightly that they couldn’t be separated, so mysteriously that the love that sprang out of that union created two undeniable miracles, was finished. The final notes had echoed off the very back wall, and the room had gone silent.

____

_“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”_

____


End file.
